Septum Ring (Sundari) | Block Heels (Forever 21) | Arm Candy (LEGIT)
Today’s post is a mix of a look post & my Fashion Blogging 101 series because, in the rush of me travelling I didn’t have time to post this look, & I also didn’t have time to post on the blogging series. I am in a hotel room in Dubai, an hour away from leaving for the airport. I’m off to Shanghai this evening.
My initial plan for my next Fashion Blogging 101 post was to talk about your blog theme/content. However, I received a message on my Facebook page (if you haven’t liked it click click click here) from a newbie seeking advice on dealing with negative comments. I thought this would be a great opportunity to answer her, as well as post to the series. But before we get into dealing with negativity on your blog or social media – please can I have a moment for my look post 🙂 because I love it.
I am so excited to finally share this look with you guys, even if it is in the middle of a Fashion Blogging 101 post. I just absolutely love it. You guys know that I am all for ‘wearable’ clothes. And that is exactly what this look is for me. I am particularly obsessed with this River Island blouse that I picked up in London a few months ago. And the skirt I purchased in Cape Town just 2 weeks ago (so it should still be available if you like it). Also I am wearing my new STONE lipstick from MAC. Yay!
Negativity is a funny thing. It can affect us in so many ways. You may feel motivated to prove the haters wrong. Or you could be affected in a way where you start to doubt yourself & essentially feel down. I am fortunate enough that negative comments rarely come my way. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been called a transvestite; been told my toes are ugly & I should wear closed shoes; I have even been emailed about not wearing a bra in my outfit posts. I feel like some bloggers more than others are subject to negative comments because of religious affiliation or jealousy & such. That saying that ‘if you have haters then you must be doing something right’ is not something I believe. You can be doing a great job, & not get hate mail or negative comments IMO. I guess it just depends on who are the people reading your blog/following you. Also, to make matters worse, the Internet has created a space where nameless, faceless people can troll.
Here are my tips for dealing with negativity:
1. Don’t respond in the heat of the moment
You guys don’t know this about me, but I am a bit of a ‘hot head’. I go from 0 to 100 real quick 🙂 LOL ask anyone who knows me well. If I see a negative comment or email & want to respond to it, I immediately walk away & try get my bearings. Responding in anger, frustration or out of hurt could be damaging to you. Other readers may come across that comment & view you differently afterwards. Do you want that? And more importantly, do you want your other readers to think that they could also possibly be subject to a response from you in a similar manner?
2. Do respond when you have calmed down & thought about what the person has said.
Do not ignore negative comments. Respond. As bloggers I believe we want to create an open dialogue with our readers, & why should that change because you don’t like what is being said? Treat positive & negative commentors with the same respect by replying. I have put together a few examples of the kind of comments you could receive, & how I would respond to it.
Positive Comment: “Great blog post. I really enjoyed hearing about your experience at…”
Response: “Thanks for taking the time to read the post. I am so glad you enjoyed it.”
Negative Comment: “It’s so obvious that you are being paid to show this product on your blog. Would you really even purchase it with your own money?”
Response: “Thanks for taking the time to read my post. I have a disclaimer at the bottom of the post stating that the post is sponsored. However, even though I am being paid for the space this post is taking on my blog, I always remain authentic when choosing which brands to align myself with, so yes I would absolutely have purchased this with my own money. I guess I’m just lucky I didn’t have to :)”
REALLY Negative Comment: “I think that you are the worst blogger in the industry. Your blog is D-rate but you behave like it’s the best blog out there. Why do you even post your outfits when you clearly have no sense on style. Stop wasting your time because you suck at this.”
Response: “Thanks so much for taking the time to read my blog. You are entitled to have an opinion, & I can respect that. However, if you don’t like what I am putting on my platform, perhaps this blog isn’t one you should be reading.”
3. Sometimes CRITICISM can be a good thing
I believe that if someone is giving you constructive criticism it can be extremely beneficial to you, so hear them out. I know that it is not always going to come from a good place, or be constructive – but it is a part of growth, & it can aid you in growing as a blogger. I love hearing what my peers think. When I chat to my fellow blogging friends I often ask them what they think about a topic, or area that I am exploring. It is a great way to get the advice/opinion of someone who understands the industry you are in, & the difficulties that come with it. It is so easy for us to put the walls up & go on the defensive when faced with criticism. But it is very important that you take the moment to listen to what the person is saying, reflect on it, & see what you can take from it.
This is just a few ways I believe you can handle negativity on your blog or social media. For me, the most important thing is not letting it get under your skin. I know from experience that what others say can be hurtful, but you need to hear it & move on. Do not dwell on negativity, because negativity breeds more negativity. And with that negativity comes self doubt. And if you stop believing in yourself, how can you expect your readers to come along & believe in you.
Keep you chin up 🙂