For the most part, I am a very private person. My life is ‘online’, but it’s important to find a balance between our ‘online’ life and the life we are actually living – what you see is what I allow.
Most of the pictures that people post only portray the positive parts of their lives. Being constantly exposed to the exciting and beautiful moments. We hardly share our struggles, failures, or disappointments. So today I’d like to share with you a personal struggle of mine.
My ‘single’ relationship status.
Not because I struggle with it, but rather because others struggle to understand it.
I have not been in a serious relationship for about 5 years. (Yes, I know, that is long!)
I was hurt, & thereafter decided to focus on me.
You spend so much time invested in a relationship, only for it to crumble in front of you. I wasn’t sure what to do with myself afterwards, I just knew that I didn’t want that.
Did it make me colder?
Absolutely. The experience changed me.
Did it make me stronger?
I think so.
I changed for the better, & it made me feel like I could do anything.
I feel my strength came from wanting to prove that I was worth something more. That I was better.
Did it isolate me? Yes, I live a fairly isolated life, even though I am very ‘social’. I have a few close friends, my mom & siblings. I don’t open up to people as easily. On the surface it’s easy, but getting to know me is tough.
However, over time, I have come to enjoy my single status. As Diane has said, “You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.” – Diane Von Furstenberg. I have chosen to love my own company. And truth be told, it’s made me better. I have achieved so much by focusing on myself, & my goals. Ultimately choosing to love myself.
Being single has had a positive effect on my life. There is nothing wrong with making personal sacrifices for professional gain.
I am a firm believer that what is meant to be will be and have no doubt that when the timing is right, my personal life will change. I am and will always be open to it.
Now that you know all about my Love Stage, I’d love to hear yours… Please let me know how you #ChooseLove in your life.
Thank you for reading, I hope you’ve enjoyed it! x
I’m currently in a 3 year+ relationship and only had 2 serious relationships in my life. I don’t understand why society think that you’re unhappy when you’re single when that’s the case even if you’re with someone. I used my “single times” to work on myself, pursue my goals and focus on what I wanted out of life and relationships in general and only when I figured that out, I got into a relationship. You can’t rely on another human being to make you happy if you’re not happy with yourself. Also, once you’re in a relationship people expect you to post pictures of him/her and if you don’t you’re branded a liar, happened to me and I couldn’t care less. It’s my life and my private life has got nothing to do with anyone. In conclusion, do whatever makes you happy, you don’t owe anyone an explanation 🙂
Hi Melanie
I agree completely with what you’ve said above. It’s crazy how people make us feel like we have something to prove.
If there is one thing I have learnt from being both in & out of relationships is that they should be private.
We’ve become too accustomed to sharing EVERYTHING with EVERYONE.
Hey Brett.
I really enjoyed reading this. I too have been single for about the same time (4 and a half years). It was a little annoying that people believe one is lonely because Im single.
I have loved spending time with myself and getting to know me.
When the time is right, the right one will come along!
xx
Val
Hi Val!
Yes that’s my exact sentiments.
Thanks for sharing 🙂
Hi Brett.
Your story is similar to mine. The only difference is I’ve technically never been a relationship *Cringes.
Reason being when I was young (I am 21), I decided that until I am well established & living a stable life, I would not dare look at men. It’s greatly due to the abuse my father put my family through, justifying my reason for not easily trusting men,or anyone for that matter. So I guess exposing myself or being vulnerable to ‘love’, at the risk of being played or misused was a definite no-no. And honestly, I am okay with my own company. Obviously at some point I’ll have to give in, but at least by then I’ll for sure know what I want and don’t want, because I know my worth 😉 xxxx
WOW that’s interesting.
I like your attitude. Getting to know yourself & spending time “alone” definitely teaches what you want you want & don’t want.
Thanks for sharing. I read many of your blog posts, cool, your blog is very good.
I don’t think the title of your article matches the content lol. Just kidding, mainly because I had some doubts after reading the article.